Selfish roommate keeps allowing her guests to bring their dogs over without asking for permission, forcing her roommate, who owns a cat who's spooked by dogs, to confront her: 'It's confusing and scary for him'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 16, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

When it comes to roommates, we think that it is very important to set ground rules from the get-go, especially when there are animals involved. For example, the pet owner cleans after their pet and doesn't demand that their roommates do it. The pet owner pays the pet rent and doesn't force their roommates to pay it. If one of the roommates is allergic to cats or dogs, then the other roommates must respect that. That's how it should be, but it pretty much never works that way, huh?

But when boundaries were not set properly in the first place, who's fault is it? Well, in this story, we think that it's the dog owner's fault. Sure, the cat owner should have said something in the beginning and didn't allow this to go on for as long as it did. But the dog owner should have had the common decency to ask whether it was okay for other people to bring their pets over. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for asking my roommate not to have guests bring their dog over?"

    "She always lets them bring the dog to our house and has never asked us about it"
    via Unsplash / Louis-Philippe Poitras - lppoitras

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    So I live in a townhouse with two other people - we all have pets (I have a cat and they each have one dog). My one roommate, we will call her Kayla, has people over pretty frequently, and she also watches people's dogs a lot.
    via new-rommantics
  • 03
    Any time she has someone over, and they have a dog, she always lets them bring the dog to our house and has never asked us about it.
    via new-rommantics
  • 04
    Kayla also brings over the dogs that she dog sits and brings them to our house whenever. My other roommate, we'll call her Carmen, doesn't seem bothered as she has a huge dog.
    via new-rommantics
  • 05
    The main reason I have an issue with it is because I have a cat who is skeptical of dogs and is already trying to get used to the dogs he lives with, and if random ones are coming in the house it's even more confusing and scary for him.
    via new-rommantics
  • 06
    Secondly, if a dog that is not on my lease ruins or damages something in my house I'm going to be upset about it in relation to the security deposit return. So am I the a hole if I say something to my roommate about it?
    via new-rommantics
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10529477120
    via Unsplash / Tran Mau Tri Tam

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Look, as much as we can say that this is something that should have been discussed in advance, and boundaries should have been put in place about these things… at the end of the day, the only decent thing to do, as the roommate, is to ask. The fact that she didn't do even that is not right. 

  • 08
    Worth-Season3645 YTA....You made a mistake by moving into a situation with two roommates who have dogs when you state you have a cat who is very scared of dogs. Then you don't move in with dogs.
    via Worth-Season3645
  • 09
    Roommates need to be held accountable for any damages of said dogs, theirs or others. And you get your complete security deposit back. You can discuss random dogs coming to the apartment, but I am pretty sure that ship has sailed.
    via Worth-Season3645
  • 10
    new-rommantics OP Should have mentioned that my cat has lived with one of these dogs before so he is not really scared of the dogs in the house. The other dog stays in my roommates room mostly or in his kennel.
    via new-rommantics
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10529477376
    via Unsplash / Bri Tucker

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Either way, confronting her about it was not a bad thing to do. Maybe the timing was weird, since you have been allowing it to happen for a while, but that doesn't matter. You're thinking about your cat and your cat's well-being, which is what you should be doing, and it's better late than never. 

  • 12
    Several-Finish-3216 NTA. She has no right bringing other dogs in the house without getting permission from both other roommates first. Regardless of any reason or the cat's wellbeing, if you don't approve she should not be doing it.
    via Several-Finish-3216
  • 13
    annedroiid NTA. Pets (regardless of whether they're temporary visitors or permanent) absolutely need the approval of all housemates to be in the house even if you didn't have pets yourself. The fact that you have a cat just makes it so much worse.
    via annedroiid
  • 14
    capricrnwhore NTA she should at least ask, it's common decency
    via capricrnwh0re
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10529476864
    via Unsplash / Louis-Philippe Poitras - lppoitras

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    Individual_Ad_9213 NTA. I'm surprised that these issues weren't discussed before the three of you agreed to rent together.
    via Individual_Ad_9213
  • 17
    JustBlacksmith1797 NTA, but be ready for your roommates and their friends to call you one. Sorry for you and your cat, that's a hard situation.
    via JustBlacksmith1797
  • 18
    kites_and_kiwis NTA This is so ridiculous and inconsiderate. The dogs don't need to be brought to the shared home, as she can watch the dogs at her clients' homes. When you have roommates, guests including pets need to be approved by everyone living in the home.
    via kites_and_kiwis
  • 19
    PeekABooSkattebo NTA at all. You have a say on what or who gets to enter your house. Especially if its disruptive to your life. The financial reasons to not allow it too is the cherry on top.
    via PeekABooSkattebo

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cat guests dogs drama selfish story roommates Cats
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